By Michael Hodkinson, who knew someone with PH
Today I took you to see the sea,
The peaceful place we always love to be.
When times were tough and we had had enough,
And even when we were feeling rough.
In winter’s nip or summer’s glow, it didn’t matter—we would always go.
Because it’s our special place for you and me,
On the days I took you to see the sea.
Today I took you to see the sea,
For fish and chips and mushy peas, and bread and butter on our knees.
With the golden sun shining on our faces, like a comfort blanket or a warm embrace.
A place of joy that will always be,
Our happy place, sat by the sea.
Today I took you to see the sea,
On our favourite seat you sat next to me.
As the sun rose high, we’d just sit and chat,
And talk all day about this and that.
We’d walk on the beach and hold each other’s hands,
Making two sets of footprints in the warm golden sand.
One big for me and one small for you,
And then you’d dip your toes in the icy blue.
You smiled and laughed and shouted, “It’s chilly!”,
And wrote our names in the sand and did things that were silly.
Today I took you to see the sea,
As the day went by, I knew it would be.
“I’ll just have five minutes,” it was time for your nap.
You put your hand on my knee and I put mine on your lap.
I took your favourite blanket to put across your knees,
In case you got cold on our day by the sea.
Today I took you to see the sea,
It’s like these days were made for just you and me.
Sailing boats on the waves and birds in the sky,
With a cappuccino in hand, you watched the world go by.
As I turned and smiled and saw your cheeky grin,
At a child’s laughter I just knew this had been
The happiest of days for you and me,
On this day that I took you to see the sea.
Today I took you to see the sea,
I’m so happy that you are always there with me.
And the tide that had said “Hello” was now saying “Goodbye”,
The sun dipped into the water and made a crimson sky.
And I looked at you and you looked at me—was it time to leave our day by the sea?
We packed up our things as the sky turned deep red,
And we made our way home; we were ready for bed.
But today, when I took you to see the sea,
Today I took you there with me.
On the sand, one set of footprints where once there were two,
And on the seat there is a space where once it was you.
Because today, when I took you there with me,
It was to scatter your ashes into the sea.
I carried you, treasured carefully in a tiny pot,
And I took you back to visit our favourite spot.
You’re there with me, not as a goodbye,
It’s for when I visit, so you can come and say, “Hi!”
I will sit alone there on our seat by the sea,
In the hope that you’re sitting there right next to me.
On our favourite seat with my feet in the sand,
Desperately hoping that you’re holding my hand.
So today was the day I took you to see the sea,
But today you only came as a memory.
AUTHOR COMMENTS:
My wife was a PH sufferer and was an incredibly resilient lady who was loved by all who met her. She battled for nearly eight years, three more than expected, and she died in September last year. We always went to the sea at Llandudno so many times over 43 years I have lost count. We would jump in the car and go even after tea to watch the sunset. It was a comfort blanket when times were hard. This year I made that painful trip alone to scatter some of her ashes and when I got home I needed to write about it. I have never written a poem before, but it just flooded out of me along with the tears. Since then I have written 51 poems about Pam and living with grief.
JUDGES COMMENTS:
“Incredibly heartfelt and poignant, revealing the devastating impact of loss and the very real price we pay for love.”
“A refrain that carries 43 years of ordinary days by the sea, then turns on a tiny pot and one set of footprints. A first poem, and it does what the best poems do: it makes you live the days before it takes them away.”