By Paula Whitehouse, living with PH
Jan 2024, felt exhausted, aching and breathless when I walk.
People crying, people smiling and ME , I found it hard to talk.
Working in the NHS, busy caring for others everyday.
My symptoms were slowly being pushed away.
May 2024 .Test day. Diagnosis Severe PH and life expectancy of 2 years.
My head felt like it was spinning, numb and I felt numerous fears.
Everyday felt like a time bomb, everything going around in my head.
I told relatives, friends, colleagues, but really I just felt like running and staying in bed.
Eventually plans, medication was provided., and I started the Day Hospice, trying to learn a new way of life.
Sleeping habits changed, tiredness increasing, now in a wheelchair and more pain, especially at night.
Took day by day, eventually left work on ill health grounds.
Felt isolated., physical strain, light headedness and piled on the pounds.
I had my time out. Now is the time to start staying positive and not let my life pass me by.
I remembered when I started my diamond Art, collected for charity and completed my will in case I die.
Now is the time to get my life back book holidays and live it to the full.
Start new hobbies, new life skills, but most importantly not be dull.
Sept 2025, To help me with my health needs, my bedroom layout was changed.
My bedroom was painted the colours I chose, and my art pictures were all arranged.
I can sit or lie down, looking at my pink accessories and my sage green wall.
This helps me to relax , be happy to start my new journey and live life to the full.
Whilst looking out of my bedroom window, noticing the beautiful flowers, and the birds that fly.
Now, some of my time I spend is just gazing up at the trees and the sky.
I’m learning to appreciate life’s little pleasures.
Having PH has made me start to enjoy all my surroundings and keep them as MY own little treasures.
Nov 2025, I started to listen more to my own intuition , I wanted to have my own
private blessing, in church.
This was a very special Day in my life, especially outside seeing and smelling the cherry- birch.
I started to pray every day, thinking and talking about anything I had on my mind. I had a thought, to gather a new collection of songs, which I now could listen too to help me unwind.
Dec 2025. I wanted to tick of items off my bucket list that included , special days out , going to restaurants and Xmas markets.
Sparkling lights all around , people happy but also being mindful of my own energy targets.
Sleepless nights with pain, days having low energy and finding it hard to complete tasks .
The lesson I learnt is to start saying “No”, when I’m too tired to go out when family or friends ask.
March 2026, Staying positive and happy is the most important thing I do. I tried to walk a few steps, which lead me to a Fall .
In hospital for over a week, bruises everywhere, especially my right knee, it felt hard as a ball.
Months passed by, recovering from my accident, too tired for the hospice or to start a new diamond art.
I think to myself, “What’s the point”, but There is a point, especially this time in my life, I don’t want to start falling apart.
This is the time, my life suppose to end, but I made sure I stayed positive everyday.
Consultants are not always right, I listened to my thoughts, made good changes and now its end of May.
22nd Aug 2026, now going on holiday to a beach in the UK, to celebrate my life, as I am still here.
I now exceeded the time by 3 months.
Give a smile everyday, be happy and have no fear.
Down days come and go. Its important to keep happy whilst walking down my life path.
I listen to my music, to help relax, in my own shower bath.
I learnt numerous things on my journey, and one, is not to take my life too seriously, as it helps reduce my stress.
Being excited and living in the moment, looking forward to my 60th in October and buying a new bright dress.
My advice to all, is to take day by day, live life to the full, and be happy.
What’s is time , you may have years, weeks , days but we still need to experience a beautiful life and be sappy.
Go through your journey listening to your own intuition, make as many memories as you can.
Spend time with others which we may eventually leave behind, including our bed pan.
AUTHOR COMMENTS:
The morale of this poem is help others by reading my PH journey poem.
